Wake Up!

I recently watched a program about Siddhartha Gautama - the Buddha.  His teachings focus on transcending ego (the ultimate source of human unhappiness) with compassion centered awareness.  Something about the human mind inclines us toward craving - always something more, something else.  As a result, we are never satisfied and it affects the way we feel and behave for the worse.  His greatest insight is that a contented life proceeds from developing appreciation for what is instead of yearning for what is not.  We develop our best selves by giving up the argument with reality, cultivating gratitude, and offering good will to the world and its inhabitants just as it is now.

My sweet labra-daughter Kayla is closer to 12 than 11 now, struggling with a weakened immune system and hind quarters.  She needs antibiotics often, and sometimes the assistance of a sling on her rear legs to negotiate stairs, smooth floors, ice, and to maintain balance while relieving herself.  Fluid collects in her lungs when she lies down due to laryngeal surgery last year holding open her paralyzed trachea.  She works hard at coughing several times each night, and I wonder how long she’ll have strength to do so.  She lies calmly for longer periods while her breath rattles and percolates.

Left to its wayward tendencies, my mind borrows suffering from the future anticipating the details of her discomfort and struggles, and my grief at her eventual death.  It borrows suffering from the past, missing activities she is no longer capable of that we used to enjoy.  To my shame, I indulge temptation thinking about what other dogs I will someday adopt, learning new techniques to train a more agile and energetic partner.

Meanwhile, even as I write these words, my beloved friend lies at my feet, warming herself near the space heater under my desk.  Today she has enjoyed the exhilaration of a snowstorm, summoning the coordination to romp a little even still.  She has excavated a cherished stuffed chew toy, napped, asked to be let out, and braved the stairs on her own - rebounding from a worrisome tumble by looking up and asking for a treat.  When she encounters the limitation of her accumulating disabilities, she looks at her unresponsive limbs quizzically, and then at me for an assist.  I can only guess at what she’s thinking, but self-pity and longing for better days don’t seem to be in her repertoire.  To whatever extent she is suffering, she is not dwelling on it.

I’ve learned so much about training dogs in the last year.  A gifted mentor has taught me about the practicalities of the canine mind and how all sentient beings learn through patterns of association and repetition.  Together, Kayla and I have enjoyed the experience of learning new techniques, behaviors and emotional responses as I’ve shared what I learned with her.  And now Kayla is returning the favor, offering me the lessons of the Buddha.  “Live in the present, and accept things as they are.  Do what is possible and desirable without expectation or regret.  Things are rarely as bad as you fear and often better than you realize.  Life is full of good experiences; don’t miss them for dreaming about something else.”  In reply, I say to her, “Thanks, sweetheart, now let’s go practice some of your favorite tricks!”